If I was a stand-up comedian and my jokes were about my crazy marriage, this would be my joke:
HUSBAND: The kids are asleep now.
WIFE: They must have learned how to sleep as a reflection of one of the major characteristics of your sexual prowess
Then the husband stomps away, upset at this insult, but then he returns with a new power saw from Canadian Tire.
WIFE: I guess ‘retail therapy’ isn’t just for us ladies!
HUSBAND: Oh honey, I love you even though you are an asshole.
Nobody loves me for being an asshole.
